The Hell Inside my Head
by Falling Into my Shadow
Summary: "Do you know where the real hell is hiding...? It's inside your head.." Male Crona x Kid, don't like yaoi or Crona as a guy don't read! I have bad introductions so I just used a quote.. Sorry! Rated T for violence, mild language, and suggested content c:
1. Chapter 1

**The Hell Inside My Head**

**Note: I do not own any character from Soul Eater or the cover photo**

I sat in the corner of my room, my hands tightly clutching the pillow that was pressed against my chest. I could feel the warm flow of tears rolling down my cheeks, the small drops staining the pillow as I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want to be here, not at all. I didn't deserve to be here anyway, I should have been left in that hole in the desert. My own mother didn't even care if I died, so now here I sit once again, loathing in my self-pity, my guilt, my regret, my own personal Hell.

I don't even know why Maka decided to come get me. It's pointless, I'm so damn worthless! When Lady Medusa hit me with her soul wavelength, I couldn't do anything, Ragnarok couldn't harden my blood, and bloody needle was useless. Maka had to rescue me once again, but I think she should've just left me. I don't deserve to be a part of the DWMA, not after what I did to Ms. Marie. They shouldn't have even let me stay here in the first place. It doesn't make any sense; I am a witch's son, a kishin egg. They should have killed me off.

"Crona! Are you ready? Class is starting!" Ever since Asura was defeated, everyone's lives have gone back to normal, but I still can't get over the guilt of spiking Ms. Marie's drink with that snake, even though she forgave me, it still hurt.

"I-I don't know, Maka. I don't think I can deal with going to school right now.." I let out a long sigh as I hug my pillow tighter to my chest. Everyone I had put in danger one way or another would be out there.

"Oh Crona, there's nothing to be scared of, I thought you were used to everyone by now.

Ragnarok had decided it was time for him to interrupt and popped out of my chest.

"Yeah Crona, listen to the flat-chested girl and go learn crap!" I felt a sharp pain constantly banging against the top of my head as I squeezed my eyes shut. The pain had broken off any current train of thought. I tried making myself as small as possible, even though I knew it would be no help though, the weapon inside my body would still be able to bully and harass me. It's not like I could do anything about it, Ragnarok was stronger than I was, so I just dealt with whatever he threw at me, occasionally letting out loud whines or whimpers of complaints.

"Ragnarok, leave Crona alone!" I could hear Maka yell through the door. I don't know why she didn't bother opening it, it wasn't locked. Since I wasn't noted as a threat anymore, I could come and go as I pleased. I normally stayed in here though, the tight, secure enclosure, known as the corner I sit in made me feel safer than the outside. If I stayed here I couldn't hurt anyone, and Lady Medusa is actually dead, or so I'm aware of, so she can't bother me anymore.

"I would like to just stay in my corner, Maka.." I muttered, and with that the door was kicked open. Maka didn't seem to like the idea of not going to school because she grabbed the collar of my robe and started dragging me to class. I sighed as Ragnarok disappeared back into the scar on my back and let Maka drag me away.

I kept my head down the whole class. Anything would be better than having Professor Stein call me out in the middle of class, I wouldn't even be able to answer the question. All that would come out of my mouth would be jumbled up words as I started in an attempt to actually do something correctly. I really just wanted to be in my room with the comfort of my pillow, nothing would make me happier.

I looked around the classroom; everyone looked bored as Stein was dissecting, yet another animal. I wonder what it's like to die. Is there really a white light? Not that I would get to experience that, if there is such a thing as heaven, I won't go there. The things I've done, especially letting Ragnarok eat those innocent human souls, I'd certainly go to hell.

"Black*Star you, bastard! You ruined the academy's perfect symmetry for a third time now! How could you do something like that? I'm going to have to fix it again!" A shout came from outside, and it was pretty obvious what had happened. Black*Star was stupid enough to mess with Kid's symmetry.

**Well... How was this lovely first chapter? We all know you do not get in between Kid and his symmetry, but hey, third time's a charm right? This is my first fanfic related to Soul Eater, because I just finished it a week ago, so don't hate! Also, if you don't like yaoi or male Crona, I strongly recommend not reading later chapters. Thank you! xx**


	2. Chapter 2

Students bolted outside to see the Duel between the ever so cocky, Black*Star and Lord Death's symmetry obsessed son, Death the Kid. Pushing my way through the crows to see, I noticed Kid already had his twin pistols, Liz and Patti. Black*Star also had his weapon, Tsubaki in hand. Tsubaki had multi weapon forms. These included a chain scythe, shuriken, ninja blade, and her enchanted sword mode. At the moment, she was in her chain scythe form.

"You will pay for ruining such perfect symmetry again, Black*Star!" Kid had pointed one of the pistols directly at Black*Star. As usual, he didn't seem fazed by the threat as he started grinning wide and laughing.

"Defeat a big star like me!? Kid, that's outrageous! I will surely defeat you!" Maybe it was just me who thought this fight was stupid. Black*Star obviously just wanted to fight, again.

Now that I think about it, the whole school was out here. They were all here watching Kid and Black*Star slash out, and dodge each other's attacks. It would be the perfect time to get away. Not escape, no, I don't want to get in trouble again, I really do like it here at the DWMA, but I need to get my thoughts cleared. I was happy here, or at least I thought I was, but why did all these bad thoughts come back? I had friends, even though Maka had started hanging out with Soul more, and I was left alone in my room, at least I could still say I had friends.

It was the perfect opportunity, Black*Star had struck Kid in the shoulder with the blade, and the crowd let out loud gasps. I used the distraction to slip away, walking down the streets of Death City.

"What's wrong with me...?" I muttered to myself as I looked down at my hands, sighing softly. "I don't want to be sad anymore." This feeling is honestly the worst, even worse than when I was on the floor, bleeding to death. Sure, I was cold, but I also started to grow numb, I was happy, I could feel no pain. It was kind of blissful when I was unconscious. No one was beating me over the head, or giving me noogies, no one told me not to do. Even hell seems better than having to be here.

As I walked, people still gave me looks of disgust. I don't blame them though; I wouldn't want to be near anyone who almost gave Medusa the chance to rule the world, just thinking about it sent shivers down my spine. I don't get the choice, I have to live with all this guilt. I am the person who has to look at themselves in the mirror every day, and know Death City could've been destroyed because of something I did.

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. _No, no. No tears Crona, you have to be strong. It's all your fault, but you shouldn't be crying, it's over now. The past is the past. _I sat on a bench, wiping away any loose tears that dripped down. Soon, the tears were flowing too quickly for me to wipe them away. I lowered my head to let them fall, the drops of water landing on my robe.

I felt the presence of someone sit next to me and out of the corner of my eye I could see a pair of black shoes.

"Hey Crona, are you okay?" I look up to see a pair of familiar amber coloured eyes. He genuinely looked worry, though I don't know why. He tried to kill me on that ghost ship.

"I-I'm fine, Kid." I wipe the tears from my eyes, quickly looking away from him. I don't understand. Why do these people care about me? I've been nothing, but trouble. I've gotten in the way. I've broken rules. I've spied on them. I'm not to be trusted, so why do they still like me?

"Are you sure? People don't normally cry alone when they're happy." I felt Kid wrap an arm around my shoulder and slid me over to him.

"Aren't you supposed to be fighting Black*Star?" I mumble, keeping my eyes on the ground as my cheeks start to turn a light shade of pink. Maka was the only other person who had ever touched me in a way of comforting. "I'm not sure if I can deal with you touching me, Kid."

"Oh, um, sorry. The fight ended a few hours ago, and I ran out of nails. I had to come get some or I wouldn't be able to return perfect symmetry to the academy." I let a small giggle escape my lips as Kid's eye twitched at the thought of the academy never being symmetrical again. I guess the OCD really gets to him sometimes, just like when I can't deal with people.

I look up at the sky as rain drops start falling out of the sky, along with a crash of thunder. My eyes grow wide at the loud boom and I screech, clinging onto Kid's arm as he chuckles lowly.

"Don't know how to deal with thunder storms either, Crona?" I shyly looked up to him as I started to blush again and shook my head. The loud noise terrified me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I watched as Kid's serious face turned into a slight smile as he extended his hand to me.

"My place is just a little ways from here Crona, would you care to spend the night?"

**This chapter... took me 5 hours to do! Mainly because I was distracted watching Fairy Tail, but it still took a long time to do! I was planning to have Crona watch the fight scene, but I wasn't exactly sure how to write it, so I came up with this idea instead! Hehe Kid's being a gentleman and letting Crona stay at his place while the storm passes. How cute!**


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